My Baby 5

My Baby,

You were my angels, and now I am yours.

So blessed to be the mom of you beautiful girls.

Love you!

Mom

Dear Mom 5

Dear Mom,

It’s Christmas Eve.  Your favorite day of the year and I am thinking of you and missing you.  I want you to know this year just how much I love you and miss you.  I am so very amazed by you.  I am inspired by your strength.  You are such an example to me of strength, overcoming obstacles, humor, wit, and class.

I am so thankful that you held traditions so highly and encouraged us every year to share with one another our feelings.  Because of you Christmas Eve is also one of my favorite days.  We had such a wonderful time as an entire family last year and I am so thankful for the memories.

Tonight I will share some of those traditions with my family.  I will give them PJs from you, tell them how much I love them, drink apple cider, and think of you.  I miss you mom.  I wish I had more time to tell you, but I have a house full and it may seem rude.

Merry Christmas.  Thanks for being my Angel.

I love you!

Love, Me

My Baby 4

My Baby,

Christmas was such a wonderful time for our family.  You girls made it so special for me. I loved Christmas because of you.  I loved finding special things for you and seeing your beautiful faces light up on Christmas morning.  I loved Christmas Eve most of all. I loved our special time together and especially having an opportunity each year to tell you just how much you mean to me.  You truly were an Angel in my life.  You and your sisters.  I felt so blessed to know you, let alone to be your mother.

Last Christmas was so special to me.  It was the most special Christmas for me, since you and your sisters moved out of the house. I can’t tell you just how much it meant to me that you would come and share your family with me on such an important and special day.  I loved seeing your little girl on Christmas morning and having that joy and spirit in my house once again.  Christmas Eve was also a very special day, to have you and your sisters all together in my home meant the world to me.  Thank you for making it happen.  I felt so very important, loved, and happy during that time and it was something that I needed very much.  I also hope that in future Christmas’ and this year that it will bring you some comfort to know that my very last Christmas, was amazing and happy, and that I spent it with you.

I can’t and won’t tell you to move on an appreciate the time with your family, because I don’t have that right anymore.  I don’t know exactly how you feel, but if you missing me is anything like me missing you, then there really wouldn’t be a point.  When someone you love is gone, there is no filling that hole and it is much better to remember and love them, than it would ever be to try and hide and forget.  If you try to hide and forget you most surely will lose the piece of you that they helped to create.  If you love them, then that piece is important and is a part of who you are.  Although I want you to be happy always, I do hope you never stop missing me.  I will never stop missing you because you matter to me.  A piece of you, made me who I am and I would never change that.  I hope, and I think you feel the same about me, that you are thankful to have a part of me in you.

As the holiday time comes, remember our good memories.  Please do continue to see and feel me all around you, because I assure you, I am there.  Maybe don’t yell at your husband, and find yourself stuck in a funk, but please do remember me, rejoice, and know that I am with you.

As for your book. I am so very proud of you.  I knew from the start it was going to be great.  I am so proud you stuck with it and that you are pursuing it.  Don’t give up, no matter what, I want to see it in print! I love you very much.  Think of me whenever you see the stars.

I love you!

Love,

Mom

Dear Mom 4

Dear Mom,

We decorated our family Christmas tree.  I cried.  First I yelled at my husband for no good reason and then I cried.  I couldn’t help but think of you.  You were all around me.  I found you in the stocking holders on our mantle.  I remember how they looked in our home when I was younger.  How our stockings hung next to one another and I thought of the Orange that was always to be found in the toe.  I also thought of how on Christmas morning instead of hanging, the stockings always sat on the floor, still hooked to their hangers, because they were just too full and heavy.

We had Christmas music playing.  You have instilled me in the love of Christmas music.  I watched my little girl dance around the living room, and I was reminded of how we would dance with you, and how we would laugh.  I watched ornaments go onto the tree, and was reminded of the silly Tinsel that I never could get quite right.  You wanted it to look so perfect, and my desire to put all of them on quickly and in clumps never quite did the trick.  If I could go back in time, and just move a little more slowly there, spending more quality time with you then, I would.  Even if it was just hanging silver strips over green branches.

I found you in my willow tree nativity set that was placed above my fireplace.  All of the angels you have ever given to me, and full of special memories and the willow tree holds a very special place. But most of all, I thought of you because last Christmas we were in your home with you, and you were there.  It was so full of memories and is one of my very best times with you. I think often of us sitting on the couch and talking late at night.  Our girl loved being there too and it was so special for her to make cookies and put them out and then to wake up in your house.  Thank you so much for having us and for making it so special.  What a great memory that I will always cherish.

I was told that the holidays are always the hardest after you lose someone.  I think this may be true because there are so many small and special moments.  You always held true to traditions and shared them with us.  I hope to continue many of them with my family, but I know that with each one that I do, I will think of you and miss you.  Why did you have to go?

On another note.  I picked up my second book from an editor yesterday.  She marked up my pages like you used to do.  I think you would be proud.  You were the one person that I really wanted to call and share that moment with.  Thank you for always believing in me and pushing me to follow my dreams.

I love you!

Love, Me

My Baby 3

My Baby,

This is a hard one for me to write. I wanted so much to be there for you as you needed me to be.  I want you to know that I love you very much. I am so proud of you! I did everything I could to comfort you and to make the process easier from here. Your dad was right.  I want you to know that. I also want you to know that I was there, the entire time by your side.

You are an amazing mother and that little boy is a treasure.  He is lucky to have you and you will be so great for him. I am so proud of you!

As for the bath.  I am so sorry.  Please know I love you very much.  When giving your little boy a bath, the hand that you didn’t feel, was mine on top of yours.  Well done. What a special moment.  I know this isn’t easy, but thank you for missing me.  I miss you too.

I love you!

Love,

Mom